Like any reunion with good friends you’ve spent far too long talking yourself out of getting in touch with, the initial words can be a bit awkward. But once you’re through that hoop, you realise all the common ground is there and you just slip back into the groove. Provided, that is, there was ever a groove to slip back into. Well a quick check of the dates and it’s been almost a year, so how’ve you been?

So what have I been doing with myself for the last year? (...quickly checks last entry to see where I was at...) Oh, I feel a bit guilty now. I just realised I abandoned you half way through Popkom, almost unforgiveable - almost.  I didn’t even get round to writing about Sundays exploits, at the ‘Old Canteen’ next to Berghain. And even more alarmingly I’ve not even told you what Berghain is. Please forgive me, but I don’t intend to catch up just yet.  One event eclipsed them all anyway, even if they did include going for pizza with a couple of my favourite dj/producers and chatting with a Hollywood star in a night club (tease! I know, but I’m not making this up, you’ll just have to believe me and let your imagination do the rest.

Well as John Lennon famously said 'Life's what happens when you're busy making other plans'.

Well the big news from Berlin, is that I have found myself a girlfriend, well I think she found me to be honest. I’m still not quite sure how it happened, if it as the script of a film I’d probably have dismissed as being too unrealistic, but anyway I should probably start with an introduction. Her name is Maria and we met in Lisbon about 3 years ago, she studied in Lisbon on Erasmus and was a friend of my housemate Gisa. We became friends and used to hang out a lot, and before long I had  pretty much fallen for her, which was rather unfortunate because she had a Portuguese boyfriend. Anyway we had become good friends and spent a lot of time together. A friendship, which occasionally threatened to become more, but never really did. But we promised to keep in touch...but after a few e-mails and some vague arrangements to meet up in Lisbon again and an apparent misunderstanding, we drifted out of touch.

[Cue Hazy fade out, switch to Berlin, December 2007, Andy is in his new room, getting ready to go out, a mobile starts to ring.....]

A: Hello!

M: Hey Andy, It's Maria!

A: Hey Maria...

M: Do you remember me?

A: Yeah, course I remember you, How are you? (He blagged trying to buy time)

M: I've just moved to Berlin, and wondered if you wanted to meet for a drink on Sunday? (Paraphrasing poetic license, hey whose story is this?)

[Andy's head starts spinning as the penny starts to drop - metaphorically not in any Exorcist kinda way, this ain't no David Lynch flick]

My head pounding, I said I'd try, but had to go to a party and then for dinner at a friend’s place. (Rah-de-rah, well aren't you the suave socialite). The phone call had left me in an uneasy state of apprehension. The last few weeks we had spent in Lisbon together had been a real emotional rollercoaster, and suddenly it felt like I'd just been strapped in, and damn thing had started all over again.

I tried to focus on the positive, should be easy right? I had a good friend back, anything else that happened would be a bonus. Yeah right, but deep down I couldn't help the feeling that I wanted more and thoughts of the friendship developing into something more were never far from my consciousness. The minute I became aware of them I would try and crush them, suppress them. Expect nothing, you can’t be disappointed.

So Sunday came and I thought it would be best to postpone the drink for another time (Great thinking Batman...Sometimes you astound me. I am you. Oh yeah shit, get it together. Ok....) Fortunately Maria talked me out of it and insisted we met for a coffee there and then. It turned out she was staying a couple of streets away so we met in a cafe. Within the first few minutes much of my apprehension had been washed away. It was really good to see her and everything fell back into place, just like Lisbon times. We chatted and tried to catch up, and fill the gaps. She even enquired about some girl I'd been seeing in Lisbon, and whether I was single. [Ok, stay rational here Andy. The mechanical clicks and whirs of the rollercoaster engine could almost be heard as I felt it start a steady ascent. ]

She's been asking about me. And she wants to know if I'm single - that means something right? Shhhh, Shhhh, stop it right now, I want to get off!!!...No chance, it's a one way journey, no stops allowed once it’s started. The car accelerated as Maria stepped on the gas. "Do you want to come see my place?" "I was hoping you could come to mine for a few glasses of wine, help me relax before my interview tomorrow"......Aaarghhhhhh, is she trying to kill me? I think my brain’s about to erupt!!! I managed to put the brakes on slightly by making my excuses and explained that I had to go, I had a party to get to. I was already late. (I just go on amazing myself!!) I had mentioned a gig I wanted to go to on the Wednesday and Maria seemed interested, so there was something.

Arrangements were made and Wednesday arrived and we were on our way to the Magnet club to see ‘Thief’, sharing my Ipod on route – How cosy! I was unaware if it was the situation, my mental state or just a coincidence but many of the lyrics seemed to resonate and hung heavy in the air contributing to my level of apprehension, gradually building like a static charge in the shrinking distance between us. We touched. Maybe it had been accidental, but we were still in contact, as neither of us moved away. Was it appropriate? What did it mean? The gig finished pretty early and we had a decision to make, stay there for a drink, go somewhere else, or back to Maria's place for a glass of wine. So we opted for the latter (At least he learns, there is hope!).

Back at Maria's it was all in danger of going distinctly pear-shaped as the thorny issue of the shortage of e-mails was dredged up!  At the vital moment my charm, tact and diplomacy failed me massively and my attempt was returned with a rather abrupt "That's not the answer I wanted to hear"

Good work Captain Cerebellum!! Got any other 'bright ideas' Apparently he hadn't and in a rare moment of panic, with the cautious brain caught off guard and stunned into submission, my emotions started a bold journey out of the trenches, bypassing the cowering blubbing grey matter which looked on in horror, but could do nothing to stop what could only be a suicide mission. With no resistance in sight the plucky raw feelings were up through my lips and out there in the open, exposed, wandering in no-man's land waiting to be shot down. The brain could hardly bare to look, expecting nothing less than a sea of pain to was hover him and knew who would have to try and pick up the pieces.

But no bullets came, as the feelings ambled on, waving a white flag for all to see. To the brain's surprise the event seemed to have passed without injury and it seemed that the feelings were no longer alone.

Phew! Our feelings shared and out in the open, I felt awash with relief, but it was still quite an odd situation and not exactly fully resolved. “So what do we do now? " I offered. “Well I suppose we just give it a go" came the reply.

I'd say I'm usually quite good at predicting how events might turn out, but I sure hadn't seen that one coming. The brain had learned his lesson and didn't dare intervene, so I agreed on the condition that we still had a period of ‘dating’. We kissed on the deal and with that I was on my way home, elated and ever so slightly confused about what had just happened.

I awoke the next morning in a bit of a daze, and even less sure of the previous nights events. The whole sequence of events had a rather surreal dreamlike quality as I replayed them in my mind. I didn't feel like I could function in the real world today, but had little choice and floated through my morning and off to work oblivious to much around me (Nothing unusual there then!  - Ouch, Low blow! Whose side are you on exactly?)

The weeks of December passed through blissfully, living most of it in the cosy confines of our love-bubble life, with the occasional interruption of material tasks and necessities of modern life, before Christmas arrived. I was only home for a week, but it seemed strange to be home back in England. I felt like I had been plucked from my 'Berlin' life which only made it seem more unreal and dreamlike. But I missed it badly and struggled to keep my thoughts on anything for longer than a few seconds without them wandering back to Maria. Phone calls, messages and e-mails did little to alleviate the symptoms. I felt guilty for wishing I was back in Berlin, while I was supposed to be enjoying Christmas at home. Naturally I tried to alleviate the symptoms with alcohol, although this would usually result in me attaching myself to anyone who was prepared to listen, and telling them this whole story in as much detail as they could endure before they extricated themselves. I guess you know exactly how they must have felt! (Sorry)

 Skipping forward 10 months we are on the verge of moving to Frankfurt together (although I think the decision was made back in January sometime). So the Berlin chapters will have to be put on hold. I say ‘hold’ because Frankfurt is a temporary thing until Maria finishes her studies.

In terms of this blog, the whole relationship has forced me into a bit of a rethink. Up to now, with the odd exception, much of the material was my day-to-day, or more realistically weekend-to-weekend life. I’m not sure the same continuing the same approach would be a) interesting, b) something I could really get motivated to write about or c) welcomed my Maria. So, this is something I’ve been procrastinating over for the past 10 months, but doing very little about, just thought I’d explain the hiatus.

Does that conclude the longest apology for not writing in a while?